but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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