I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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