put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I puked a lego.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
