i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
