He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
