i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
