I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
