i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
