I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
