I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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