we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
