On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
