she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
