I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
