i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
As shirtless as possible
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
