I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize