Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
