saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
