his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
