never play flip cup with pint glasses
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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