Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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