I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
