I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
