good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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