its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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