I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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