hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
