She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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