Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
