I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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