I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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