like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
