just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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