you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
