Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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