its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
