there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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