I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
