They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
