Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
