She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
