Porn is love you can see.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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