just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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