the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
