Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
