I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
