my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
soo... how was my night?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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