the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
