But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
