you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
